Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Have you learned any life lessons?

  (406): View more from Montana

  I like big butts and I cannot lie.

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  (303): Have you learned any life lessons? (406): I like big butts and I cannot lie. http://tfl.nu/s51u
  Replies (11) Good night (3128) Bad night (873)
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.

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  (323): WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag. http://tfl.nu/8spr
  Replies (6) Good night (1571) Bad night (2341)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  Lets date for the summer

  (815): View more from Illinois

  what?

  (480): View more from Arizona

  Dont love me in September.

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  (480): Lets date for the summer (815): what? (480): Dont love me in September. http://tfl.nu/x30e
  Replies (8) Good night (2350) Bad night (898)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night

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  (715): sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night http://tfl.nu/ih63
  Replies (5) Good night (4707) Bad night (857)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?

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  (832): Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him? http://tfl.nu/7fnz
  Replies (17) Good night (1787) Bad night (4548)
• Favorite

  (575): View more from New Mexico

  you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.

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  (575): you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat. http://tfl.nu/lmrm
  Replies (10) Good night (3097) Bad night (1031)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.

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  (760): I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me. http://tfl.nu/uzp6
  Replies (20) Good night (858) Bad night (2268)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.

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  (630): I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now. http://tfl.nu/zvll
  Replies (7) Good night (845) Bad night (2017)
• Favorite

  (776): View more from

  My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.

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  (776): My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today. http://tfl.nu/rxf7
  Replies (0) Good night (1146) Bad night (564)
• Favorite

  (956): View more from Texas

  I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.

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  (956): I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her. http://tfl.nu/jxh9
  Replies (5) Good night (1267) Bad night (475)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.

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  (217): Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister. http://tfl.nu/slb6
  Replies (9) Good night (1723) Bad night (598)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.

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  (814): Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds. http://tfl.nu/uh0q
  Replies (2) Good night (583) Bad night (1254)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?

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  (530): Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt? http://tfl.nu/ijyj
  Replies (6) Good night (871) Bad night (481)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.

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  (303): Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth. http://tfl.nu/h368
  Replies (11) Good night (2817) Bad night (617)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!

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  (404): Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!! http://tfl.nu/t5g2
  Replies (15) Good night (1476) Bad night (509)

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