Texts From Last Night

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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"

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  (778): some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood" http://tfl.nu/duu9
  Replies (47) Good night (1147) Bad night (7129)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.

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  (973): A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ. http://tfl.nu/a72f
  Replies (6) Good night (5695) Bad night (1085)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?

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  (301): Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos? http://tfl.nu/uo60
  Replies (42) Good night (2866) Bad night (1027)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.

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  (563): I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating. http://tfl.nu/5u43
  Replies (2) Good night (1199) Bad night (1378)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction

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  (715): It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction http://tfl.nu/kbcm
  Replies (4) Good night (1380) Bad night (576)
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  Im calling him

  (606): View more from Kentucky

  was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember

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  (606): Im calling him (606): was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember http://tfl.nu/dfbx
  Replies (1) Good night (1105) Bad night (635)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.

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  (+44): I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring. http://tfl.nu/y78v
  Replies (8) Good night (666) Bad night (1362)
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  (415): View more from California

  I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.

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  (415): I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain. http://tfl.nu/kod9
  Replies (8) Good night (1534) Bad night (480)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes

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  (904): I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes http://tfl.nu/m9rc
  Replies (2) Good night (876) Bad night (549)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.

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  (937): I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina. http://tfl.nu/hc91
  Replies (27) Good night (2582) Bad night (616)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...

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  (602): This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today... http://tfl.nu/mxzm
  Replies (3) Good night (1455) Bad night (542)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.

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  (520): I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick. http://tfl.nu/pc6z
  Replies (0) Good night (284) Bad night (468)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland

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  (774): Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland http://tfl.nu/km8l
  Replies (1) Good night (355) Bad night (647)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since

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  (513): Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since http://tfl.nu/1xxk
  Replies (1) Good night (393) Bad night (677)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?

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  (913): I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box? http://tfl.nu/v8k1
  Replies (3) Good night (290) Bad night (571)

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