Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(201): View more from New Jersey

what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?

(1-201): View more from New Jersey

dying kittens.

Fav 19 1130 2319
share tweet
(513): View more from Ohio

She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.

Fav 21 3644 931
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(217): View more from Illinois

So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy

Fav 16 1235 4865
share tweet
(757): View more from Virginia

She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up

Fav 4 1551 2451
share tweet
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(301): View more from Maryland

I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.

Fav 12 4043 1992
share tweet
(562): View more from California

Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser

Fav 3 2563 1189
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(602): View more from Arizona

I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.

Fav 13 3859 1458
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(305): View more from Florida

Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back

Fav 1 13 63
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(720): View more from Colorado

My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...

Fav 0 31 11
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT