Texts From Last Night

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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus

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  (218): No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus http://tfl.nu/il4r
  Replies (12) Good night (1018) Bad night (1263)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  I'm going to rape someone's good day.

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  (253): I'm going to rape someone's good day. http://tfl.nu/to10
  Replies (14) Good night (3729) Bad night (1237)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you

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  (609): overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you http://tfl.nu/i2qz
  Replies (27) Good night (5282) Bad night (606)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.

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  (256): Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee. http://tfl.nu/nrww
  Replies (136) Good night (5095) Bad night (1093)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!

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  (864): A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier! http://tfl.nu/9qgj
  Replies (107) Good night (1933) Bad night (5678)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.

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  (508): There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day. http://tfl.nu/fth0
  Replies (12) Good night (3237) Bad night (969)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame

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  (989): He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame http://tfl.nu/n7tj
  Replies (6) Good night (5347) Bad night (1125)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.

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  (814): I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011. http://tfl.nu/1xss
  Replies (4) Good night (1625) Bad night (1178)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.

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  (703): There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened. http://tfl.nu/llik
  Replies (19) Good night (1480) Bad night (924)
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  (518): View more from New York

  I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!

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  (518): I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING! http://tfl.nu/za5e
  Replies (18) Good night (1138) Bad night (2796)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.

  (1-727): View more from Florida

  His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.

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  (727): A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you. (1-727): His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me. http://tfl.nu/a0hl
  Replies (3) Good night (1333) Bad night (237)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented

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  (512): We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented http://tfl.nu/cc07
  Replies (3) Good night (524) Bad night (235)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.

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  (360): My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be. http://tfl.nu/3ncs
  Replies (2) Good night (293) Bad night (392)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.

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  (306): I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS. http://tfl.nu/r076
  Replies (3) Good night (547) Bad night (223)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.

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  (541): Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god. http://tfl.nu/ma7j
  Replies (0) Good night (196) Bad night (399)

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