when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
