Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
my god I love twenty year old dicks
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