The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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