Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
