This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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