Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
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