I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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