I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Enjoy the penises
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Randomize
