Umm I'm too high to move.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
