Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
