He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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