Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
