I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
