the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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