got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Randomize
