I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
