Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
so much tequila, so little girl.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
