You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
