You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
