Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
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