and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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