shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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