my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
