but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I think I am morally bankrupt
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
