Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
