So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Randomize