Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Please don't give away my fajitas
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
