you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
