Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I think your dad took our porno
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize