Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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