I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
where am i from again
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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