You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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