69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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