Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
