On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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