Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
