The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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