I just made out with a guy for $7.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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