those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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