My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
