you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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