And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
kristin has been a bad kristin
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
