If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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