Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I just gargled with NyQuil
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
