hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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