I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
