11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize