he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
