and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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