toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
