Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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