did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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