He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
