i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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