absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
