I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."