Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot