You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Randomize
